I woke up for the second time that morning, and the notable difference was that I wasn’t alone. The bus was still rocking, but I barely noticed it.

I noticed the hand underneath my shirt.

I noticed how it palmed my tit as if it belonged there.

If only I wore bras to bed. Honestly, I didn’t get those chicks. I hardly wore them when I was awake.

Loren’s audacity didn’t surprise me. Nor did the thrill I felt by it either. I’d been asking for trouble when I allowed Loren to snuggle me in the first place.

There was too much between us to pretend nothing was there at all. We’d already ruined each other, and when the pain began to dull, we stupidly ask for more.

“I know you’re awake,” he mumbled before kissing my neck and squeezing me until my hard nipple stabbed his palm. Realizing the bunk had grown darker despite the sun rising while we slept, I glanced over my shoulder.

The privacy curtain had been drawn.

Whatever was about to happen, Loren had planned it. Probably from the moment he put me in his bed. I guess he had to get his beauty rest first. With the two of us being the only ones awake, there was no one to stop us from causing more trouble.

“I’m awake.”

I didn’t object when he licked his thumb before finding my nipple and teasing it. “Want to play?”

“You were an ass to me, Loren. Why would I?”

Why indeed. Secretly, I wanted him to pull down my shorts and slip inside me in the dark. No one had to know.

“You fucked Houston,” he reminded me, but there was no anger in his voice. “And I’m not sure what you did with Rich, but, baby, I’m pissed.”

“We weren’t exclusive.”

“And now we’ll never be.” I felt him skim his lips over my shoulder. “We can still have some fun, though.”

Like icy shards cutting me deep and leaving me bleeding, I shut down. “Get off me.”

When he pretended not to hear me, I took his hand and flung it away. I felt the loss, but I ignored it. I tried to climb over him and leave, but he pushed me back and climbed between my legs. There wasn’t enough space for me to fight him and win.

“Shh, stop,” he whispered when I squirmed anyway. I was a second from damaging his pride and calling out to Houston when he said, “I’m sorry.”

“Fuck you.” I turned my head away to stare at the drawn curtain.

“Just say when as long as the answer is now.” From my peripheral, I could see him smiling down at me. He knew the effect his smile had on me. He knew how often it got me wet.

“I’m so sick of your toxic, narcissistic shit. Either treat me right or leave me alone.” Still refusing to look at Loren, I shook my head. I’d done nothing but dole ultimatums since meeting these assholes.

“That’s an easy one.” Leaning down, he brushed the tips of our noses together and then our lips. I hated how sweet his kisses were. They were the dangerous kind. The ones that convinced you to put up with more than you should. “I really am sorry, baby.”

“Are you?” I turned my head, letting our eyes meet. His gaze reminded me of the way light deceived when it broke the surface of the water. You never realize how deep the water reached until you were already drowning. “Prove it.”

“How?”

He sounded eager, and I was almost sorry for intending to make him regret it. “I want to sightsee today, and I want you to take me.”

“Done.”

“I’m not finished.” He looked wary now, and my sweet smile of false reassurance didn’t wipe the look away. “I want Houston and Jericho to come, I want you to be nice to them, and I want you to be nice to me. At least for today.”

I’ll just have to figure a way to convince him when tomorrow comes.

“You want me to do what?”

I didn’t repeat myself. He’d heard me the first time.

Blowing frustrated air through his nose, he considered my proposal.

“This isn’t a good idea,” he warned with a shake of his head. He had the cutest bed hair. The blond strands were ruffled from sleep, and I liked the look on him.

As he stared down at me, I felt sixteen again—only he’d be the cute boy next door. I wished I’d known him then. I wished it had been Loren I’d given my virginity and let use my body. I knew he would have stood by me.

“I don’t care. I’m done living my life afraid of what tomorrow brings.”

“Cool, so when we kill each other?”

I dug my nails into his naked back. “You’re going to be nice, remember?”

Loren rolled his eyes, and then slowly, his demeanor changed. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen him look so defeated as he stared at the bedspread beneath me. “Tell that to them,” he mumbled.

When his gaze shifted to me, and I saw the uncertainty in it, I finally asked the question that had been nagging me since Oni brought it up. “What happened between you? Why aren’t you close anymore?”

Once again, I watched his mood shift. There was distrust in his eyes now since I shouldn’t know that they secretly hated each other. “Who says we aren’t close anymore?”

“You still call them your best friends, but you fight them like you’re not. Am I not supposed to notice how you’re always eager to get away from each other?”

“Friends fight,” he argued with a shrug. The careless demeanor he tried to give off didn’t match the angry curl of his lip. He was defensive, and that gave me hope when I shouldn’t care.

“They do,” I agreed. “But not like you. Not as often as you.”

I tried not to look so disappointed when Loren moved from between my legs to lay on his back next to me. When he was settled, he folded one arm beneath his head. “It’s this life,” he mumbled while staring at the ceiling. “We didn’t know how much we’d be giving up. We started to blame each other for our choices, even though we’d made them together.”

“You resent being famous?”

He shook his head. “I resent how much I needed it. I traded one fucked-up existence for another. We all did. The only one who really had a choice was Houston.”

I frowned at that. “So why did he do it?”

Turning his head, Loren stared at me for a long time, probably deciding whether it was safe to confide in me. I wish I knew the answer. I told Houston that I didn’t want to hurt them, but pain was often caused unintentionally.

“Rich…and me.”

Just as I was getting close, Loren decided he was done sharing. Ripping back the privacy curtain, he left me in his bunk alone.

Throwing my arm over my eyes, I wondered if, like them, I’d agreed to more than I had bargained. They were complicated at best and completely hopeless at their worst. Guarded, they were a labyrinth of emotions, questions, and riddles. I was traveling up this winding creek without a paddle, a map, or a clue. The hurdles they forced me to jump to reach them were high. I was already bearing the scrapes and bruises.

I summoned the energy to pull myself out of bed with a groan for the second time today. The moment I lifted my arm, I found Houston awake, sitting up and staring at me as if I’d kicked his kitten. Sensing I needed it to face the day, my mind conjured the image of Houston with a dozen kittens crawling all over him. I made sure he noticed the smile it brought as I hopped from the top bunk and landed on my feet.

“Coffee?”

I didn’t wait for his answer before prancing through the door leading to the kitchen.

He followed me, of course.

Houston was silent as he sat down at the small table no one ever used. I knew he was trying to figure out what I was up to and how far I’d gone with Loren in his bed. I hummed to myself just to piss him off as I tinkered with their fancy coffee machine. I was slowly getting the hang of all the bells and whistles.

“What are you up to, Fawn?”

Ah, so it speaks. I kept my back to him while the first cup filled. “What do you mean?”

“Why are you asking questions that are none of your business?”

“That’s your perspective. It’s not mine.”

“Cut it out, Brax. I fucking mean it. No more questions and no more pretending you care. None of us are going to fall in love with you.”

Jesus.

Every day, Houston gave me a new motive to murder him. I wondered if there was a time when he wasn’t so arrogant. I doubted it.

Grabbing the full cup when the machine stopped spurting, I set it down in front of him, knowing he liked it strong like me. Our black hearts beat the same hard rhythm.

“You’re right. I don’t care. I’m just curious.” I chose to ignore his claim that I was looking for love. I wouldn’t dignify his assumptions by answering them.

“Why?” he questioned after eyeing his coffee before pushing the cup away. I smirked. Surprisingly, it never crossed my mind to poison him.

“Why what?”

“Why are you curious?”

“That’s the thing about curiosity, Morrow. It’s random and often pointless. A passing fancy. Oh, look, I’m already bored.”

He stared at me a beat before his gaze narrowed.