I need more time, too.

Just give me more time with you.

“If we continue this adventure, I can’t sleep with you, Carter. As much as I want to, I decided that wouldn’t be a good idea after all.”

“I get it. I’m not gonna lie and say that makes me happy or that it will be easy for me. But I understand it and respect it. And I promise not to pressure you, either.”

We stared into each other’s eyes until I leaned in and kissed her forehead and kept my lips pressed against it. I momentarily lost my senses and my composure when I spoke against her skin, “Don’t leave me yet, Perky.”

She pulled back to look at me, and when she suddenly smiled, it felt like she’d released my heart from a chokehold. “What’s on tap today then?” she asked.

Relief.

“Well…” I smiled. “We nap. Then when we wake up, we’ll have an early dinner of some of Amari’s shawarma, then some hookah.”

“Did you just call me a hooker?” She laughed.

My laughter roared throughout the bathroom. It felt so fucking good to let it out after the tension of a few minutes ago.

“No. Hookah. Also known as shisha. It’s a water pipe used to smoke flavored tobacco. They smoke it out back after supper. It’s a tradition here. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. But I promise, it’s the only pipe I’ll ask you to wrap your mouth around tonight.”

Kendall playfully pinched my cheeks. “There he is. I was starting to think you were going to make this no-sex thing easy for me by shutting your dirty mouth, too.”

“Oh, I said I’d respect your decision, but there’s no way that extends to my dirty mouth.”

“I love your dirty mouth, actually.”

“Someday, Perky. Someday…when you’re ready, you’ll realize just how dirty my mouth can be all over you. And you’ll love it.”

THE BATHTUB TALK WE’D HAD seemed to bring us closer together. That night, we sat outside in back of Amari’s property, which was basically the vast, dry desert, sharing not only a hookah pipe but also stories of our childhoods.

Kendall told me all about growing up on the ranch in Texas, and I let her in on some funny secrets, like how my sisters used to put makeup on me while I slept when we were kids.

Kendall was a joy to watch as she sat with her legs crossed, blowing smoke rings from the hookah pipe with that pretty little mouth as she laughed and opened up to me.

I had never wanted her more, but as much as I was aching for a taste of her, I vowed to keep my promise not to push physical boundaries while she was in this state of limbo.

Later that night, she’d fallen asleep with her ass pressed against my side. Between the quiet of the desert and my raging hard-on, I couldn’t sleep for shit.

Desperately needing relief, I quietly got up from the bed and retreated to the bathroom. With my back leaning against the door, I closed my eyes and thought back to our time at the club, but instead of us dancing, somehow my mind had envisioned Kendall fully naked, wrapped around me as she rode my cock on the dance floor.

We were so close to Nirvana that night before I fucked up and left her alone on the street. Shaking the upsetting thought from my head, I tried to focus once again on my club fantasy.

Panting, I fisted my cock, pumping it hard as I imagined fucking her hot, wet pussy, remembering the way she smelled when our bodies were close, how much she wanted me that night, the way her tongue tasted when we kissed.

I jerked myself harder before suddenly stopping at the sound of her voice from behind the door.

“Carter? What are you doing?”

Shit.

I laughed under my breath and banged the back of my head against the wood. “Praying?”

“Do you always breathe like that when you’re praying?”

“It’s an intense prayer.”

“What are you really doing?”

“I think you might know what I’m really doing, Kendall.”

“Can I come in?”

Still fully erect, I tucked my cock back into my pants as best I could before opening the door.

Her eyes trailed down to my massive erection. “I’m sorry….to make you resort to that.”

“It’s okay. My hand and I haven’t spent time like this since I was a teenager. I think he missed me.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“You.”

“Yeah…but what specifically?”

“It was this fantasy of fucking you on the dance floor back at the club.”

She looked down at me again. Her expression was serious when she asked, “You need some help?”

“I thought you said we weren’t going to go there.”

“I can’t have sex with you. But I want to touch you. I could take my clothes off, let you finish what you started. You know…help you.”

Looking up at the ceiling, I shook my head. “You have no fucking clue, do you?”

“What do you mean?”

“How crazy you make me. There’s no halfway with you. Jerking off with your naked body right in front of me…not being able to do what I really want to you…would be torture. I don’t have that kind of willpower, not with you, not anymore. Even when I kiss you, all I can think about is burying myself inside of you. But you naked in front of me? Too much, Kendall. When you strip down for me, I want it to be when you’re ready to let me have you. Otherwise, it’s better if I don’t know what I’m missing out on.”

Looking filled with remorse, she waved her hands. “Okay. I get it. I’m sorry…for interrupting.”

“Go back to bed. I’ll be right there.”

After Kendall left, I closed my eyes in regret. Was I crazy for turning her away like that?

Now that she knew what I was up to in here, I couldn’t relax. Still needing release like a motherfucker, I turned on the shower and got in. Ironically, I jerked myself to thoughts of her naked body against the bathroom door and imagined she was watching me.

Fuck my life.

WHEN I OPENED MY EYES the next morning, Carter was gone from the room. He was probably getting breakfast. I had no clue what time it even was.

God, I felt so stupid.

What the hell was I thinking interrupting him like that last night, offering him nothing but another giant cock tease? Hearing him panting like that, knowing what he was doing behind that door, was making me crazy.