“Why?”

She stared up at him. “Have you not been paying attention?”

“I have. I’m paying all my attention.” He leaned in close. “What are you so afraid of, I wonder?”

“Honestly?” she asked. “I’m putting all of my energy into not seeking the answer on that.” She paused. “I’m going on a road trip tomorrow.”

“With River. You’re going to go through Kyle’s things to see if you can’t get her ring back.”

She shook her head with a sound of annoyance. “Do you know everything?”

“I try to. For instance, I know that you’re the most incredible, caring, warm, most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”

She snorted and rolled her eyes. “You need to meet more women then.”

His lips curved into a very small smile. “You coming back, Lanie?”

His eyes were like lasers, burning into hers, and she supposed it was somewhat of a relief that he could read her so well. Saved a lot of time. “I’m not quite done with my contract,” she said. “And I don’t leave in the middle of my obligations.”

His gaze held hers prisoner. “Is that all this is? An obligation?”

“No,” she whispered.

“Good. And you know damn well you don’t have to go at all; everyone here, including me, would love for you to stay.”

She dropped her head to his chest again. Let herself soak up the innate and delicious guy scent of him, his strength, his goodness. Then she pushed off. “I’ve got to go.”

He let her, and a minute later she was in her car. She drove to the winery on autopilot and parked. And then sat there, head down on the steering wheel.

What the hell was she doing?

She was still straddling that line of telling herself she couldn’t possibly stay. Still telling herself there was nothing to keep her here, a vow that had become even more serious once River had revealed herself.

But now her commitment to her self-pity was wavering, along with her resolve to stay unattached to anyone here. Her roadblocks were falling away one by one and it was . . .

Well, terrifying.

All the more reason to go, she told herself firmly. Stick by that. Own it. Finish your work and get out, walk away while you still can.

A few minutes later her phone vibrated in her pocket, nearly giving her heart failure. It was Mark. “Hey,” she said, annoyed at how breathless she sounded.

“Hey, yourself. I’m back at work, but according to Holden, you’ve been sitting in the parking lot talking to yourself for ten minutes. Am I worried?”

“No.” She paused and closed her eyes. “Mark?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for caring.”

There was a beat of silence. She’d surprised him, she realized. “I care a lot,” he said very quietly, as if he didn’t want to scare her off.

And when had she become that person? she wondered. The one of the two of them who was afraid of her feelings and emotions? Okay, so she’d always been that person.

The truth was, she’d hidden behind his no-relationship stance because she was afraid, afraid that her feelings for him left her feeling as if she were naked in school and vulnerable. And she didn’t do vulnerable. “I know you do,” she said and then let herself say it. “I, um . . . care a lot about you too.” And then, because she was in uncharted waters without a navigation system, she ended the call.

By this time tomorrow she’d be on Lanie’s and River’s Most Terrifying Adventure.

Chapter 26

My anxieties have anxieties.

The next morning, River stood in front of her closet trying to figure out what to wear for this road trip when Holden knocked and came in looking like the cowboy he was in boots, jeans, and a cowboy hat, shoulders broad enough to carry any burden that came his way.

He smiled at her and moved to her side. “You about ready to go?”

“I would be—if any of my clothes fit.”

“So you’re really going to do this thing with Lanie?”

“Yes.” And if she was being honest, she was excited about it too. It was a chance to get Lanie back in her life. She missed her, like she imagined she’d miss a sister if she had one.

Holden nodded. “Nice.”

“That I’m going?”

“Your smile,” he said and gave her one of his own rare ones. “But yeah, also that you’re going.”

She gave him another smile in return. “You know what I like about you?”

“My charm and sexy eyes?”

She laughed and God, that felt good. “That you don’t try to tell me what to do.”

“Why would I ever do that?” he asked. “And also, full disclosure, my eyes aren’t even my best feature.”

She rolled her eyes and went back to studying her closet, but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t wonder what his best feature might be. “None of my sweaters fit me anymore.”

“Here, take this.” He shrugged out of his sweatshirt, which was indeed big enough to fit her. He wrapped it around her shoulders and didn’t step back after, ensuring that his airspace intersected with hers.

She stilled, trying to decide what that odd sensation going through her was. Excitement or anxiety?

Both, she decided.

Holden caught a stray curl and tucked it behind her ear, his fingers lingering at her temple. And then he leaned in an inch. And then another. Going slow . . .

For her, she knew.

She kept her eyes open as he gave her the chance to pull away. But she didn’t pull away, and he brushed his lips across hers.

A test kiss.

One that deepened in the best way when she relaxed into him. He checked himself before it went too far, nuzzling her cheek, smiling against her when she made a sound of protest that he’d stopped. “Don’t want to rush you,” he whispered.

“A little rushing wouldn’t bother me.”

He pulled back slightly and studied her, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “You want me.”

“Well, I’m not dead, am I?” she asked. “But I refuse to tie anyone down.” She held her arms out and looked down at herself. “I’m a complete disaster, Holden.”

“Hey, if you want to tie me down, I’m game. But turnabout is fair play.”

She rolled her eyes, but there was no denying that quiver deep inside was all excitement now, no anxiety.

“And you’re not a disaster,” he said. “Not even close. You haven’t let the right people in, that’s all. But the right people are here, just waiting on you to decide.”

She stared up at him. He was unlike anyone she’d ever met, a little rough-and-tumble around the edges. Smart. Stoic. Real.

“Your hair’s smoking,” he said. “What are you thinking about?”

“I’m thinking you might be too good to be true.”

He did the oddest thing. He tipped his head back and laughed, and it was a beautiful sight. “I’m a lot of things,” he finally said, still smiling. “But too good to be true isn’t one of them.”

She shook her head. “So what happens now?”

He pulled a key from his pocket and slid it into hers. “That’s to my cottage. It’s an open-ended invitation.” He lifted her chin and kissed her again, soft and deep and hot enough to melt her bones. “Think about it,” he said.