Right?

Was I making a mistake in assuming that just because his eyes were flaming pools of bloodlust and his claws were mini samurai swords that his brain was not still fully functional? Even when the wolf took over, a part of me remained Mera. Remained my human self.

Unless Dannie had done something else to affect him, the real Shadow was still there, just buried under a shit ton of anger and power.

“You probably don’t remember me right now,” I started in a soft whisper, “but we’re friends. Great friends. I’m most definitely in the top six beings you trust, and considering how long you’ve lived and how many beings you know, that is really quite the fucking achievement.”

Nerves had me babbling, but that had always been a way to get through to him in the past, so I went with it.

“You kidnapped me,” I continued, “which, by the way, you’re not allowed to do with any other shifter. I’m far too jealous and possessive for you to drag another in here by their hair. Nope. I might even beast out myself and put bleach in their shampoo at a high enough strength that their hair would fall out. Not all of it, just… like half of it. I’m not a total monster.”

He’d stopped moving, his head stilling as his depthless eyes devoured me. It was hard for me to believe I’d forgotten that intense stare.

“You don’t remember me, Shadow, but our souls matc—”

Before I could finish my sentence, he roared, a deafening sound that had true power behind it, sending me flying back into a nearby shelf. I hadn’t been ready for it, failing to brace myself and stop bones from breaking. Normally, it wouldn’t be a huge deal, but the few minutes it took me to heal was all the time the beast needed to attack again. Thankfully, my wolf saw the issue as well, forcing the change on us so we healed in an instant.

Without a glance back, we took off through the library, Shadow right on our tail.

Calling up the fire as soon as the portal came into sight, we dove through. Shadow didn’t follow me, but I felt him there, standing on the lair side of the portal.

Dammit, that had not gone as well as expected, but at least I knew what I was dealing with now. And I didn’t have to track Shadow down halfway across the worlds. He was here, and now I needed a plan of attack.

19

Gaster and Sam appeared mere seconds later, waiting patiently as I shifted back. Then, my favorite goblin dug out another sheet with which to fashion a toga for me, and I filled them in on what I’d found.

“He’s completely lost himself to the beast.” My lips were pressed into thin lines as I tried to figure out what the hell I could do now. “I’m going to have to keep pushing, bit by bit, until I figure out the key to breaking through to my Shadow.”

Gaster’s face was uncharacteristically solemn. “Are you sure that the man is not lost without hope? It has been known to happen, and I’m not sure that those lost are ever truly recovered.”

“He’s still there,” I said firmly. “After everything he’s gone through, I seriously doubt this is the moment he gives into the dark side.”

Gaster didn’t look convinced. “If what you’ve said is true, you might be the one thing that Shadow could not handle losing. He doesn’t remember why, but he knows deep inside that he’s broken beyond repair. From what I heard, Shadow destroyed worlds for you. He dismantled the Solaris System with a swipe of his power. Literal worlds fallin—”

“Holy fuck.” I gasped, interrupting him. “He said he would let the Shadow Realm fall, if it was a choice between that world and me.” My eyes met Gaster’s. “He said that to me when we were in the realm, but it’s just an expression, right? A super sexy, hot-as-hell expression that made me feel all the things. But no one literally destroys worlds when the person they care about is hurt…”

A sad chuckle emerged from the goblin. “You don’t understand. Shadow didn’t just sever all the connections to the worlds and then hole up in his lair. Since you were taken from him, he has struck a path of destruction through the ten worlds. With enough force that I’m not sure all of them can recover.”

Well, okay then. The beast was literal, a good point to remember.

“We can still fix it all,” I said with more confidence than I felt. “I’ll give him a few hours to calm down because he’s a wee bit angry at the moment. But tomorrow morning, first thing, I’m going to be on his ass like a goddamn barnacle until he learns to love me again. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s wearing people down.”

I repeated this in English for Sam, and she smiled. “Embrace your strengths, right?”

That almost got a laugh from me. “You’re handling this fairly well,” I said, impressed with her calm demeanor. “Are you saving up your freak-outs for later? I often do that.”

She shrugged. “I’m trying this new thing where I just go with the flow. Sometimes it works; other times I fail miserably. Today I’m somewhere between the two.”

I patted her on the arm. “Stick with me. You’ll be adjusted to the randomness of life in no time.”

My words didn’t seem to be reassuring for her, but she didn’t argue either.

“If you’re going back into the lair, I think it’s best if we get some food and rest,” Gaster said, falling into his concierge role.

“Is the dining hall gone too?” I asked sadly.

He paused, and it was clear he had no idea. “We should find out.”

Stepping through the library, we finally managed to maneuver our way into the dining hall, which, surprisingly, was completely untouched. Robot servers intact and everything. They rushed straight up to us when we walked through the door, like waitstaff desperately waiting for their first customers to arrive.

“Hmm,” Gaster said, seeming confused. “I thought the master had destroyed all the magic of the library, but it’s still quite strong here.”

“I can understand you!” Sam said with a shout before she lowered her voice. “Oh, wow, it’s nice to talk after resorting to sign language.”

Gaster’s face lit up. “Oh, yes, the ability to communicate lowers so many barriers between races and worlds. I will enjoy discussing many of your life achievements.”