Sam didn’t laugh and quip something like “Oh, that will be a short discussion,” like I would have. Instead, she returned his nod, and in as formal a tone said, “I look forward to that day, sir. “

Match made in heaven, even if their formal talk in the dining hall did depressingly remind me of Angel. My best friend who was out in the worlds, with no memory of me.

As soon as I got through to Shadow, we had to track down the rest of our pack.

But first, food.

“Please give me one of everything,” I told the server, elated that my appetite was finally back.

The small fae-created robot scurried off, swift and nimble. They were ingenious and perfect for this role, able to balance cartloads of dishes and never mix up an order.

“It was nice of you to order for us,” Sam said with a smile, settling into her chair.

Right… “No problem.”

Gaster shot me a knowing look, well aware of my love of this place and my ability to eat enough for three grown shifters. But he didn’t correct me in front of our new friend. Dude had my back, and I would always have his, no matter what happened in these worlds.

Sam and Gaster continued to converse while we waited, so excited to be given this gift of understanding. It seemed that they had quite a lot in common, especially the way Sam was very well-read in my least favorite genre: the classics.

Gaster was in nerd-goblin heaven.

And all I could think about was Shadow.

I’d never ached for another being the way I did for him. I’d been attracted to Jaxson and other shifters, and my vagina had certainly done her fair share of whining about our dry spell, but that was pure horny-girl-hormone stuff. It was nothing compared to the deep-seated ache that started low in my gut and fanned out through every part of my body when I thought of Shadow.

It was beyond intense, to the point that sitting here and not running back into the lair to be near him, even if he was more beast than person at the moment, took real effort.

“How could Dannie do this to me?”

It was a rhetorical question. We’d already been over it all. We’d already discussed the stone and its many varied ways of corrupting my former friend. But the grief in my chest needed a place to release.

Sam placed her hand on my shoulder, and while she didn’t say anything, her touch was comforting to me.

20

We slept in the dining hall because apparently you could order bedding, toiletries, and other items, and the servers would bring it along. With that in mind, we swapped out our sheets for clean clothing, and I somehow managed not to ask for a vibrator, just to see how far I could push it.

The next morning, after breakfast and finding a bathroom to pee and wash up, I was ready to return to Shadow. In truth, I’d never left Shadow, at least not in my mind. It had been near impossible to sleep knowing he was so close… and yet still so far away.

Gaster and Sam waited near the barrier as I crept closer, and I expected that I’d be unable to venture through without some real power this time, and I was absolutely correct. My beast had ramped up all his securities overnight. Shadow was somewhat predictable when it came to protecting his power base, and his more animalistic form was no doubt worse than ever.

Sparks shot at me when I got closer, but I just brought fire to my skin and sent my power back in response. At the familiar burn across my body, I tilted my head back to enjoy the sensation.

My power had been locked away from me most of my life, but after being in Torma again, I looked at my energy differently. Knowing the reason my father had attacked the alpha, the reason his paranoia had grown until he’d felt he’d had no choice but to force Victor’s hand, had changed my perspective. I still had questions, that I hoped to talk to Shadow about—if he ever returned to conversing in full sentences, that was.

Like, why had my powers been so odd growing up? I’d thought my first shift and release of my wolf had triggered my Shadow Realm side to emerge, but now I knew that there had been a few other times.

It had been grief the night my father had died that had opened a doorway to Dannie, allowing her to leave the Shadow Realm. And then there’d been the night of my first shift, when the grief over my rejected mate bond had allowed me to touch the Shadow Realm, setting in motion the rest of my destiny.

Was grief the key? It clearly wasn’t torture or fear, because Torma had thoroughly tested that theory.

Another mystery to add to the endless sea I’d been wading through for years. Even when I thought I had a handle on it, something new would blindside me, and I’d realize I knew nothing.

At least I had my powers today when I needed them, strong and blinding in their intensity, and by the time the fire was near-licking the ceiling of the library, I was able to step through the barrier into the lair.

“Shadow,” I called softly, pushing deeper into the mist-strewn ice locker.

It was freaky as hell as I moved deeper into his lair, feeling the beast breathing down my neck, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. The “safe” world I’d been dropped in with Torin and the Torma pack had been very clever of Dannie. She had given me everything I’d ever wanted, dreams built in a young child’s mind of my future in the pack. Funny how dreams could turn to nightmares in a split second.

Shadow had given me such an advantage in Torma too. I didn’t know it at the time, but now that my memories were back, I had pieced together a lot of the odd occurrences that had happened to me with the pack. “You kept your word, Shadow,” I called loudly. “The one where you promised I’d never have to be vulnerable again. Torin tried to force his will and strength on me, and he was repelled away. At the time, I didn’t know why, but I do now. Your power superseded Dannie’s.”

He was probably also the reason I hadn’t been able to touch myself, since he had strong opinions on that as well, but we’d talk about that possessive piece of bullshit later.

An echoing roar rang down the corridors between shelves, an ear-piercing burst of sound that grew louder and louder until a raging beast was right there, huffing as he stared me down. Shadow looked exactly as he had the day before, a powerful mountain of muscle, man and beast, and I drank him in like I hadn’t seen him in years, rather than about eight hours.

“You kept your promise,” I repeated, my voice shaking from emotional overload. “Torin couldn’t hurt me, no matter what he tried. I didn’t have my realm powers thanks to Dannie, but she didn’t know that your promise to me was stronger. You kept me safe.”