“Expected too much in the sense you expected her to look after her children and not stab you with a knife?”

“Babe—”

“I know she was young too,” I said curtly. “But you make adult decisions, you learn very fast to become an adult. You have no choice. And it seems to me, you stepped up. You wanted a family. You made a family. You learned a trade and provided for that family. You joined your Club and offered more family to your family. And you love your children and show it. You could be tough on Tat, but never when she didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry, Buck, but Kristy doesn’t get an out on this. I’m glad you came to the realization that I’m not her and we’re not going to have what you had with her. And the kids are not going to have to endure what you two had. But she doesn’t get a pass on being a shitty mom.”

“All right, baby, cool it,” he whispered.

But his eyes were glinting humor.

“I’m not finding anything funny,” I warned.

“I know. And I love you for it. ’Cause you’re pissed for the kids. You’re pissed for me. It’s cute. Sweet. Hot. And I cannot even begin to tell you what it makes me feel, seein’ you tonight, sittin’ in bed with my little girl, talkin’ about whatever you were talkin’ about. Just a girl who needs the example of a good woman, and that good woman bein’ right there. And me bein’ the dad who found that for my girl.”

Oh no.

I pushed my hands between us and gave his chest an ineffectual shove, snapping, “Don’t make me cry.”

“You said not five minutes ago I didn’t know the steady I give me kids. Just pointin’ out the good you bring to that equation.”

“This isn’t helping me not to cry,” I warned.

“Right, then, we done with you learnin’ about my family and Kristy so we can fuck?”

“No, I have thirty-eight years of the life and times of West Hardy to learn.”

His brows shot up. “Tonight?”

“No. Though, I will warn you, I also want to know your hopes, dreams and deepest desires.”

“My deepest desire right now is to get blown before I fuck you.”

I rolled my eyes before I said, “We can talk about sexual desires too, but maybe we can round that out with other stuff.”

“Like what other stuff?”

“Like, you clearly want a future with me.”

“Yeah,” he stated firmly. “I clearly want that.”

“And you want to eventually get married.”

“Told you this already.”

“And you want a child with me.”

“Told you that already too.”

“Do you want two?”

His head cocked to the side. “Do you want two?”

“Yes,” I whispered carefully.

“Then I’ll knock you up twice. Do you want three?”

Three?

“Five children are a lot of children, Buck.”

“So you don’t want three.”

“Well, do you? Want three more, that is?”

He sighed before he stated, “Okay, let’s cut to the chase. I want what you want. I like kids. Too bad you didn’t come into my life earlier, ’cause first, I got a load of you, I’da dropped Kristy like she was a pan left on the heat too long.”

A surprised giggle escaped me.

Buck continued speaking.

“And second, Gear and Tatie, when they were little kids, were cute as fuck. Tatie pullin’ some a’ her shit notwithstanding, kids are awesome. You want three, I’ll give you three. You want two, we’ll just have two. You want four, we gotta have a discussion because I’d like to enjoy my retirement, not be attending graduations when I’m eighty, those bein’ graduations of my own fuckin’ kids. That sound like a plan?”

It sounded like the best…plan…ever.

“Yes.”

“You up to blow me now?”

“Yes.”

His head dropped, I thought he was going to start it, but he only gave me a brief kiss before he pulled away.

“Love you wanna know about me, baby,” he said softly.

God, he was amazing.

“Sorry I didn’t ask before.”

“Doesn’t matter, you’re askin’ now.”

“It kind of messed us up a little bit,” I admitted.

“Yeah, maybe it did, but you’re right. Kristy doesn’t get a pass on being a shitty mom. But you get a pass when your life’s fucked right the hell up, you find yourself a man who knows right off the bat he wants to go the distance with you, and you’re so up in your head, it takes you a while and a huge fuckin’ drama to clue in. I’ll give you that pass and learn, you don’t seem to be cluein’ in, I best get on helpin’ you with that.”

I could even feel my gaze was heated when I informed him, “It’s time for me to suck you off now, Buck.”

He smiled, all white teeth in dark beard.

And it was totally time for me to suck him off.

Right now.

He kissed me again and this time it wasn’t brief.

He rolled us while doing it.

Eventually, I got down to business.

Then Buck took over.

33

Family

I was dead asleep when Buck shook my hip.

I opened my eyes to see it was still dark.

I did this also to a sleepy feeling of surprise that Buck was ready to go again.

Needless to say, the kids imminently going to be living with us, me asking Buck to share about his life, us knowing what we were to each other, we’d celebrated.

Energetically.

And this was on top of an emotional day where we’d celebrated (energetically) on and off all day.

I turned to him and he whispered, “Baby, I’m sorry. But it’s happening.”

I didn’t like his tone.

And I didn’t understand his words.

“What’s happening?”

“He’s slippin’ away.”

It was then, I understood.

Oh God.

“You were in with him,” he kept speaking. “Talked to ’em, told ’em to call when it came time. They called. You wanna be with him?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

“Get dressed.” He paused then his voice was weighty when he said, “Hurry.”

I got out one side, Buck got out the other, and I hurried.

Even if I hurried, Buck was dressed and out of the room before me.

And by the time I followed him, I saw the lamp by the couch lit, Buck at the door, and Gear was with him.

Dressed and ready to go.

I looked to Gear then to Buck.

“West—”

“Gotta wait for Tat. She’s hurryin’,” he said.

I made it to him and whispered. “I don’t—”

“Family,” he grunted a grunt that said I need not reply.

I gave up on him and turned to Gear.

“You don’t have—”

“No way, Clara. No way you’re doin’ this without Dad and me and Tat,” he declared.

I shut up.

Tatie dashed out of her room hopping, still pulling on a boot.