“Ready, ready…I’m ready,” she said.

Buck had planned all this.

He’d told them.

Prepared them.

And when it was time, they were ready.

We walked to Buck’s SUV.

But for my part, I did it with difficulty because Buck’s arm was so tight around my neck, Tatie had a death grip with both hands on my biceps, and Gear was crowding Tatie.

We got in the car, Buck started us on our way, and then he tossed his phone in the back seat to the kids.

“Don’t care which one of you do it but get on the line with Tia and then call Mrs. Jimenez,” he ordered.

I turned my head to him.

“Buck—”

I again got no more out.

“You think those two women will ever forgive me if I let you do this without them?”

Well, putting it that way.

I didn’t answer.

“Right,” he muttered.

“Yeah, hi, is this Tia?” Gear asked from the back seat.

I stared out the windshield.

“We’ll get there, babe,” Buck assured.

“Yes,” I whispered.

He took my hand and held it.

He drove.

Gear’s voice came from the back seat.

And Buck got us there.

“I di-didn’t think, you…you’d—”

“Quiet,” I whispered to Rogan.

His parents were across the bed from me, as well as his sister.

They all looked immensely sad,

I’d liked them. They’d liked me. I’d missed them. And from the looks on their faces when they saw me, they’d missed me.

There had been no bad blood, they understood.

But I’d left them when I left him because I’d had to leave it all behind me.

“I’m sorry,” Rogan said.

“Stop it,” I said.

His eyes went to his mom. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop it, honey,” she whispered, her voice catching.

He looked to his dad.

His father made a noise I never wanted to hear again in my whole life.

Before he carried on with this, I leaned over and touched Rogan’s face.

He turned his gaze to me.

“That’s not how Rogan Kirk goes out,” I told him. “The man who was so handsome, I found it hard to breathe, just looking at him.”

“Clara.”

His voice was so weak.

So weak.

“My first love,” I went on.

He closed his eyes.

“You asked me if I loved you, but you didn’t notice I didn’t have to ask if you loved me.”

He opened his eyes.

“I always knew, Rogan. You never let me doubt it.”

“The women—”

“Stop it,” I hissed.

He shut up.

“Our wedding day, do you remember?” I asked.

“Yes.”

God.

His voice was getting weaker.

“You trying to get to me, and Tia was barring the door, shouting about how a groom isn’t supposed to see the bride,” I continued.

His eyes closed.

His lips curved.

“But you got in, didn’t you? Nothing could keep you from me.”

“So beautiful,” he whispered.

“Yes, that’s what I thought about you. And then I tripped during our first dance.”

His lips stayed curved.

“You caught me and laughed so hard and held me close through the rest of the song, just swaying.”

His lips stayed curved.

“Whispering in my ear what a klutz I was and how cute you thought it was.”

His lips stayed curved.

“I loved you, Rogan.”

“Loved…me.”

The words drifted.

“I loved you so much, Rogan.”

His lips were still curved.

“I loved that you loved me.”

His lips remained curved.

“I loved how much you loved me.”

His lips stayed curved.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m so sorry,” a woman said quietly. “He’s gone.”

His mother’s sob tore through the room.

I dropped my head to his hand I was still holding.

And I remembered him holding me so close, laughing as he swayed me on the dance floor the day we got married.

It took me some time, but I lifted my head and I didn’t look at him.

I didn’t want to remember him that way.

I just kissed his hand and straightened away.

My eyes caught on his family.

His dad was holding his wife and daughter in his arms, both crying in his chest.

His father was looking at me.

“Thank you,” he mouthed.

I nodded.

Turned.

Walked out of the room on legs that felt strange.

Down the hall.

Buck got to me first, wrapping both his arms around my head and shoving it against his chest.

Tatie wrapped herself around me next.

Gear, after that.

Tia pushed in.

Mrs. Jimenez rubbed my back.

I let the love of my family instill some strength back into me.

Then I put some pressure on my head and Buck loosened his hold.

I tipped it back.

“Can we go home?” I asked.

He stared into my eyes.

And answered.

“Absolutely.”

34

Voodoo

“Jesus, you need to chill out, darlin’.”

“Yeah, Toots, it’s only Granddad. You need to chill out.”

“I think Clara’s bein’ kinda cute.”

This was coming from Buck (the first), Tatie (the second) and Gear (the last).

We were standing by a round picnic table that was bolted to the floor in a big room that was a sea of round tables that people were standing by or sitting at.

All of this in a prison.

I was in high-heeled booties, dark-wash, bootleg jeans, a long-sleeved white tee and a spruce blue, open front, high-low, waterfall cardie.

This outfit had taken three days, five phone calls to Minnie, two to Lorie, and one to get validation from Pinky before I decided on it.

It had a minimal edge (the booties), so it did not scream BIKER BABE!

I should have worn my high-heeled boots and a jeans miniskirt (an item of apparel I did not own).

Then again, we had a dress code we had to adhere to, and miniskirts were prohibited.

A door at the far end opened and a bunch of men in orange jumpsuits started strolling in.

Too late now.

“Oh dear,” I whispered.

“Babe,” the arm Buck had around my neck gave me a squeeze, “he’s gonna love you.”

“Right,” I muttered.

“He’s totally gonna love you,” Tatie added.

“Right,” I repeated.

“Clary, fuck, you love us, we love you, he’s not gonna have to get with the program,” Gear said, sounding like he was laughing. “He’s just gonna be with the program.”

I was about to look at Gear.

But then a tall, handsome man with a good deal of silver in his still-dark hair came sauntering through the door. A man I’d seen younger in pictures. A man who exuded magnetism and charisma, even in an orange jumpsuit with a white T-shirt under it.