“Waffles,” I agreed, squeezed Gear’s hand again and turned back to him.

That hand twisted so I had no choice but to let it loose.

But he didn’t move away, and he didn’t move to his sister.

Instead, he hooked his arm around my neck and he tucked me into his side, just like his dad had Tatie.

“Waffles,” Gear muttered, giving my neck a squeeze.

Hesitantly, I wrapped my arms around Gear’s middle and my eyes moved to Tatiana.

Golly.

So this was what being part of a family felt like.

I wished I didn’t know this.

I was conflicted. I was unsure. I got where Buck’s head had been at, I felt for him that he opened the bathroom door and saw what he saw, but I was still angry at their father.

But I had to admit, I liked the feel of family.

A lot.

Tatiana grinned at me.

I couldn’t stop it and didn’t try.

I grinned back.

“Jesus, your life’s pretty crazy, babe,” Minnie said in my ear.

It was late evening.

I was on my back on top of the covers on Buck’s bed.

It was after waffles.

It was after Buck made a call, took a shower, got dressed and took off to places unknown after he gave his daughter a hug and a kiss on the temple, grabbed me by the back of the head and laid a long, wet one on me and then gave his son a meaningful look.

He then took off, not yet to return.

It was also after I cleaned the house and did a bunch of laundry.

Tatie started helping while I was vacuuming. She disappeared to the utility room and came back with a load of freshly laundered towels, folding them on the kitchen counter.

After that, she stuck to me like glue.

If I was cleaning a bathroom, she was in it cleaning with me. She helped me strip the beds. Then she helped me make them.

I told her to rest, but she shook her head.

After that, I let her do whatever she wanted to do.

Or probably in this case, needed to do.

Gear made us a dinner of corn dogs and tater tots. As these were baked from frozen, this was not done with his father’s culinary flair, but it was yummy all the same.

We camped out in front of the TV, the kids watching it, or Tatie watching it and Gear and I mostly watching Tatie.

She had dark moments, I could tell. I knew Gear could see it too. I just didn’t know what to do about them. And if the glances he exchanged with me were anything to go by, Gear didn’t either.

So I decided to call Minnie, which was what I did, telling her everything about yesterday and today.

That was, telling her everything except about Nails and Gash. I just told her I saw a brother with a woman, but I told her I didn’t see either face. She seemed to have bought it and she also wasn’t surprised.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “I’m kind of getting sick of a crazy life.”

“This’ll pass, Clary,” she said softly. “It’ll all smooth out.”

I didn’t think it would.

What I thought was, this was my life, and until Buck was through with me, I had no choice in that matter.

I thought this because Buck had told me straight out this was the case.

I had, that day, given a moment to thinking what he’d do if I just left.

And in that moment, I had another moment.

One of understanding that I didn’t want to find out.

“He scared me last night, Min, and he hurt me,” I whispered.

“You shouldn’t have stood in his way,” she whispered back, and I closed my eyes when she confirmed Buck’s assertion. “Our boys, they get pissed, especially about something like that, you step back and let ’em do what they gotta do.”

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling.

“Seems to me, the rule is, you have to let them do what they have to do all the time,” I observed.

“Oh no, honey, like I said yesterday, with the Club, out in the world, that’s the way it is. But behind closed doors, it’s just him and you, you let fly. You be you. It’s just out in the world, he’s the man, and that’s it. And, if shit goes down, like with Tatiana, you do what you did. Though, you fucked up and tried to get him to stop and phone the cops, I’m talkin’ in the end. You take care of his girl and you let him take care of business.”

“Well, I hope that never happens again, so I don’t have to take care of Tatie, not that way.”

“Me too,” Minnie agreed, her words heavy. “How’s she doin’?”

I took in a breath and on the exhale, said, “Not good. She hits a dark place and she does it often. This can’t be unusual. She went through hell just last night. I just don’t know what to do with her. I think I should talk to Buck about a psychologist.”

To my surprise, this suggestion was met with hysterical laughter.

“Min?” I called through her laughter.

“Babe, you crack me up,” she replied.

I sat up in the bed, crossing my legs under me. “What’s funny about that?”

“Sister, we do not go to psychologists. We take care a’ shit in the family. Are you not gettin’ that?”

Oh, I was getting that.

I just didn’t agree.

“I’m not certain we have the tools to guide Tatiana out of that dark place, Minnie. Three college boys attacked her last night. They took her underwear. They nearly raped her.”

“Yeah, and you said Buck called Kristy and told her what happened, and that Tatiana wasn’t goin’ home for a week.”

This was true.

Buck had done this.

Though it wasn’t as simple as that.

The phone call lasted a long time and had not been happy.

It had been unhappy, not because Tatiana’s mother had been told the dire news her daughter had been attacked and beaten and she was upset like any mother would be. But from what I could tell (and Gear and Tatiana could tell), it seemed that Kristy was pissed just to be pissed.

I didn’t know how I could tell that, I just could.

What surprised me about this was that Buck didn’t absent himself to shield his children, but instead had this conversation, his side of it low and toxic, while wandering the kitchen being obviously ticked off.

And it ended, not with Kristy agreeing that Tatiana should be with her dad, who she adored and clearly felt safe with, something she didn’t feel with this Knuckles guy, and have some time away from school to rest and heal.

Instead, it ended with Buck inviting Kristy to, “Do whatever the fuck you gotta do, bitch,” and disconnecting the call.

Minnie’s voice carried on in my ear.

“You bring her to the office and Lorie, Pinky, and me’ll bring in Debbie. Debbie and us, we’ll help her outta that dark place.”

“Is Debbie a social worker?”

“No, Debbie’s an ex-’ho who hooked up with Riot.”

I blinked at Buck’s, rather attractive, I had to admit, paisley comforter cover that had dense swirls and curves of rust, gray and blue with hints of cream.

An ex-’ho?

As in…

Prostitute?

Then I breathed, “Pardon?”

“Debbie’s solid. Shit life. She was raped when she was fifteen. Went off the rails. Got hooked up with some bad people, bad shit. She’s clean now and her and Riot are tight. They got married last Christmas, big fuckin’ party. She’s livin’ the good life now. She saw the other side and she’s there. Ain’t no dark places for Debbie.”