Chris lit a cigarette with trembling hands.

“It’s so fucking typical,” she muttered.

I reached for Chris’s packet of cigarettes. Jack didn’t like me smoking, but I seized the opportunity to have one now. I’d just have to remember to buy some mint chewing gum before I went home.

“One year, Chris. Then I’ll be back. By then Jack and Henrik will have Compare up and running.”

I blew a perfect smoke ring, which framed Chris’s skeptical expression. She dropped the subject, but the look on her face made it abundantly clear what she thought about it.

—

Six months later Compare was launched, and became an instant success. Jack and Henrik’s young telemarketing team and new way of working hit Sweden like an invading army. They achieved results unmatched by anyone before them. Companies were soon lining up to have Compare take over their own telemarketing operations. Money rained down on us. Just over a year later we were millionaires.

Neither Jack nor I saw any good reason for me to return to my studies. We had already reached our goal. Together. Why should I fight my way through college exams when things were going so well for us?

You studied in order to become successful, and we had done that. The future was so bright, I needed shades.

The crisis was edging closer and closer. Obviously she should have seen the signs. Opened her eyes. They say nothing blinds us like love, but Faye knew that nothing blinds as much as the dream of love.

Hope is a powerful drug.

She decided to change tactics. Instead of sitting at home like a sad puppy, waiting for Jack, she would give him the time and space to miss her.

There were two weeks to go until his birthday party. The event organizers had told her when to show up, but that was all. Apart from the instruction that the dress code was “evening dress.” She had been contemplating rather more entertaining themes when she was still under the impression that she was going to be organizing her husband’s birthday party. The Great Gatsby or Studio 54. But evidently that wasn’t what Jack wanted. Sometimes she couldn’t help wondering if she had merely imagined that she knew him. She seemed to have the wrong idea about everything these days. At least when it came to Jack, anyway.

Faye knocked on the door of his study in the tower, heard an irritable yes, and walked in.

She put on a smile. Not that it mattered. Jack was staring at the screen.

“Sorry, I don’t want to interrupt. I just thought I’d let you know that I’m going away with Julienne for a few days.”

He looked up in surprise. His handsome profile stood out against the glass of the window.

“Oh?”

“Yes, you’ve got so much going on at the moment. And I . . . well, I suppose I don’t. I’ve rented a house in Falsterbo.”

She was prepared for Jack to protest, he had never been very enthusiastic about her wanting to do things on her own. But to her surprise he seemed almost relieved.

“That’s a great idea. It’ll do you good to get away for a while, after, well, all that unpleasantness.”

He was avoiding her gaze. When he got home late the night after she had the abortion he had offered a cursory apology about an emergency at work. No more than that. No roses this time. No tears. And she had swallowed once again, accepting what she couldn’t change, even if it left a bitter aftertaste. But she could still feel the coolness of Chris’s hand against her cheek when she went to bed.

“Do you think so?”

She kept her voice neutral. Keep looking forward. Never back. She could turn this around. She was stronger than Jack realized. She had been playing the weaker sex for a long time now. Because that had been what Jack needed. But now she realized it was time for her to take charge, without Jack noticing. He wasn’t the sort of man who liked taking direction.

“Yes, definitely,” Jack said, smiling at her.

His face looked more youthful, more at ease. She relaxed. She was on the right track. They just needed a bit of time away from each other.

“It’s a good idea to get a bit of mom and daughter time,” Jack said. It sounded a little forced, but she was happy to take whatever crumbs she could get. “A girls” trip, or whatever you want to call it. It’ll be harder to do that sort of thing once she starts school.”

He fiddled with a pen and asked nonchalantly, “How long are you planning to be away?”

“I was thinking five nights.”

She held one hand out toward him, and he took it, to her surprise. And relief.

“You’re sure you don’t mind?”

“Of course not! Though I’m obviously going to miss you both.”

She blew him a kiss before leaving.

“We’ll miss you too,” she said.

And she meant it. She was missing him already.

There wasn’t much traffic on the E4, mostly tractor trailers. Faye enjoyed driving, and Julienne seemed excited to be going on an adventure.

“Can we go swimming?” she asked.

“The water’s going to be very cold. Let’s see what you think when you’ve felt it.”

A diplomatic answer. Obviously she knew Julienne would think it was far too cold. It would be several months before the water was anywhere close to warm enough to swim in.

Julienne immersed herself in her iPad. Faye overtook a DHL truck, the driver stared longingly at their Porsche Cayenne as she pulled in front of him.

The phone rang. It was Jack.

“How are you getting on?”

He sounded happy, and Faye couldn’t help smiling. It had been a long time since she had heard anything but irritation in his voice.

“Daddy!” Julienne cried.

“Hello, darling! Are you having a good time?”

“Yes! Really good!” Julienne said, then went back to her iPad.

“Where are you?”

“We’ve just passed Norrk?ping,” Faye said. “Time for a break soon, probably that place with the golden arches . . .”

“McDonald’s!” Julienne exclaimed happily.

There was no fooling her.

Jack laughed and Faye felt it sweeping away the bad memories, dissolving them like the dandelion heads she used to blow as a child.

They hung up and she concentrated on driving. There was a long way to go before they got there.

“Mommy, I feel sick.”

Faye glanced at Julienne, whose face did indeed have a disconcertingly greenish-white pallor.

“Maybe you could try looking out of the window? I think you might be feeling sick because you’ve been looking down at a screen.”

Faye took her right hand off the wheel and felt Julienne’s forehead. It was warm and sweaty.

“Are you hungry? There’s an apple in the bag by your feet.”

“No. I feel sick.”

“We can stop at McDonald’s soon, if you like.”

Julienne said nothing, her eyes fixed on the road. It’ll pass, Faye thought.

A few minutes later Julienne started to cough and Faye pulled over to the roadside with a grimace. As they came to a stop Julienne threw up all over.

Faye jumped out of the car and hurried round to the passenger side. She lifted Julienne out, and held her hair as she whimpered feebly before being sick again.

A little cloud of steam rose from the warm vomit on the frozen grass.

A truck drove past and the turbulence rocked the car.

Faye put Julienne back in her seat, emptied a bag and put it on her lap. She found a roll of paper towels in the trunk and wiped up the worst of the mess inside the car. The smell turned her stomach and she didn’t dare think about what Jack would say when he heard what had happened. The car would have to go in for detailing before she could so much as blink.

“If you have to be sick again, try to do it in the bag.”

Faye wound the window down and breathed through her mouth. The stench was terrible as she started the car. Whitney Houston was singing that she would always love you, and Faye turned the volume down. She preferred the original by Dolly Parton.

A few miles farther on they pulled in to a petrol station. Faye perched Julienne on a chair while she bought some disinfectant and a cloth and tried to clean things up, all the while cursing the decision to drive down on her own.

They could have flown, then hired a car at the airport. Why did she always have to complicate things? Jack was right. She was completely useless. As a wife, and as a mother.

Her good mood had vanished altogether.

Faye fetched Julienne, and bought a banana that she ate on the way to the car, then tossed the peel in a can before getting them both back in the car.

“How are you feeling now, darling?”

“I want to go home. Please, can we go home?”

“Try to get some sleep and you’ll feel better.”