The room was pitch dark. I’d just started to doze off and couldn’t be sure if I’d heard him right. “The truth?”

I felt him nod, even if I couldn’t see it. My head was tucked into the crook of his shoulder, and he continued to stroke my hair gently as he spoke.

“Sophie was my best friend. People thought it was weird that we spent so much time together but weren’t hooking up. She was like the little sister I never had, even though we were the same age. We were nineteen when she got pregnant with some loser’s baby. Her mother kicked her out, and she came to stay with me in my dorm room for a while and then went back home. It went like that off and on for years. But after I graduated, she couldn’t take it at home with Fanny anymore. We got an apartment together so we could share expenses and I could help out with Lucas while she went to cosmetology school at night.”

He paused, and I waited in silence until he was ready to continue.

“One night she got out of class early. Lucas was already asleep in her room. I’d met a woman in our building, and we’d started hanging out once in a while. Sophie walked in on me and her having sex in my room.” He blew out a deep breath. “I don’t even remember the woman’s name. Anyway, Sophie freaked out, saying Lucas could’ve walked in on us, and we had a big fight. The next night, she dropped Lucas off at her mother’s instead of leaving him home with me when she went to school. Or at least I thought she went to school. A buddy of mine called later that night and said he was at a bar, and Sophie was there, and she was pretty loaded. So I drove to pick her up. It was a shitty night, pouring out, and I found her making out with some dirtbag biker. There was a big scene—the biker wanted to kick my ass, but I got her the hell out of there before she did something stupid.”

He took another deep breath.

“Our fight continued in the car, and Sophie kissed me.”

“She kissed you?”

“I thought she was just drunk at first. I pushed her off me and told her to cut the shit. But she started to cry. Then everything came out. She told me she’d been in love with me for years. Apparently the night before hadn’t been about finding me with another woman while Lucas was sound asleep; it was because she had feelings for me.”

“Oh, wow. And you had no idea?”

“None. Like a fucking blockhead, I didn’t see any of it. Until long afterward. And I didn’t handle it very well. I told her that was ridiculous, and she was like my little sister.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. That didn’t go over too well. She was pretty upset, so I thought I better take her home.” He paused. “We never made it. I missed a stop sign because of some trees weighed down from the rain, and there was an eighteen-wheeler coming. We skidded, and the car flipped a few times.”

I turned over onto my stomach. “Oh my God, Bennett.”

He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have been driving while I was upset and pissed off, not at night with bad visibility and wet roads.”

I clutched my chest. The story itself was heartbreaking, but then I remembered what he’d said earlier. “I told Lucas the truth tonight.”

“Lucas didn’t know any of this?”

He nodded. “Not until this afternoon. It’s a long story, but Sophie kept these journals, and her mother recently read them. Lucas almost read them, too. The last entry in her journal was written the day before she died and said she was going to tell me about her feelings. Her mother knew we’d had a fight the night Sophie died, but when she read the journals, she realized what we must’ve been fighting about. Fanny never liked me to begin with, and rightly blames me for the accident.”

He sighed. “She only lets me stay in Lucas’s life because I help her out financially. Lucas and I both got a settlement because the tree should’ve been cut back and the trucker was speeding, but his is in a trust, and Fanny only gets a stipend for his living expenses each month. I’ve always known I needed to tell him I was driving. I just thought I could wait until he was a little older.” He shook his head. “Reading those journals stirred up a lot of feelings. For both of us.”

I shut my eyes. “Oh God, Bennett. I’m so sorry. You told him all that today? I’m guessing it didn’t go well?”

“He could have told me never to contact him again. So I guess it could have been worse.”

It didn’t take a shrink to figure out why Bennett didn’t do relationships. A woman he cared for deeply had told him she was in love with him the night she died in a car accident—an accident that happened while he was behind the wheel, an accident he obviously harbored a lot of guilt over.

In an instant, the rest of the missing pieces of Bennett Fox clicked into place. Such a complex man, with scars inside that ran a lot deeper than the one on the outside from the accident.

“He’ll come around. He’s a smart kid, and in the little time I spent with you two, it was clear how much you care about him. I’m sure he was just upset at the shock. It must’ve felt like a big secret kept from him.”

“He thinks I’ve been spending all this time with him out of guilt for what I did. And honestly, I do have a lot of guilt. But that’s never been the reason I stayed involved in Lucas’s life.”

We were quiet for a long time. I needed to wrap my head around everything he’d shared, and Bennett obviously needed space. But first…I needed to ask one more question.

“Bennett?”

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever talked to anyone about this? I mean, the whole story. What Sophie meant to you, what she shared the night she died, and the relationships you’ve had since then—or lack of relationships?”

He shook his head.

“Thank you for telling me. I know it’s been a long day, but I want you to know I’d love to hear all about Sophie. When you’re ready.”

He looked into my eyes. “Why? Why would you want to hear about her?”

“Because she’s obviously very special to you, she’s the mother of the boy you love, and whether you realize it or not, she’s helped make you into the man you are today.”

Chapter 45

* * *

Annalise

I reread the letter I’d typed to Jonas a second time. I wasn’t ready to give it to him just yet. But typing it brought me one step closer. It felt right—like trying on a pair of jeans that hadn’t fit for a really long time, and suddenly the zipper closed. It had been a long time since anything in my life really felt like it fit.

My desk phone rang, so I quickly folded the letter into an envelope and stashed it in my drawer. I figured it was Bennett calling from two offices down to yell at me to hurry my ass up since I said I’d be ready in ten minutes at least a half hour ago.

“Annalise O’Neil.” My voice was almost sing-songy.

But when I looked up, with the phone cradled between my shoulder and ear, Bennett was standing in my doorway. I smiled.

Until the voice on the other end of the line came through the receiver.

“Anna? Hey. I figured you might still be at the office.”

Andrew.

I don’t know why, but I panicked. “Ummm… Yeah. I’m still here. Hang on one minute.” I held the phone pressed against my chest and spoke to the man currently ogling me from the doorway. “It’s my mom. I’ll just be a few minutes.”

Bennett nodded. “Take your time. Give me your keys. I’ll pull your car around the front so we can load your presentation stuff in when you’re done.”

I fished inside my purse, hoping he didn’t notice the flush creeping up my face. Luckily, he didn’t seem to. He took the keys and kissed my forehead before leaving my office. I waited, listening to his footsteps fade until they were in the distance, and for the sound of the front door of our offices opening and closing.

I lifted the phone back to my ear.

“Hi. What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

“Did I catch you at a bad time?”

I sat down. Was there ever a good time for an ex to call out of the blue? “I’m just getting ready to leave. What’s up?”

“Still working too late, I see.” He was teasing, but I wasn’t in the mood for small talk.

“I’m actually heading out to get some dinner. So I need to make this fast, Andrew. What’s going on?”

“Dinner as in a date?”

That pissed me off. I huffed. “I really need to go.”

“Okay. Okay. I just wanted to let you know I’ll be joining Lauren and Trent for your dinner tomorrow night.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to see you.”

“What for?”

Andrew sighed. “Please, Annalise.”

“This is a business dinner. Last time I checked, you had no interest in your family’s business.”

“I’m still a shareholder. And I’ve been helping out over there the last few months—revamping copy for the catalog and stuff.”

His parents had always wanted him involved in the family business, but Andrew had stuck his nose in the air when they’d suggested he take a role that involved writing in their empire. Anything but literature was beneath him.

“Fine. Whatever. I need to run.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing you.”

The feeling was not mutual. “Goodbye, Andrew.”

***