Fuck.

My mouth dried.

Yes. I’d be upset if he did.

My body was getting heated.

I’d be more than upset. I’d be pissed off.

So hell no, he wasn’t going back to that.

Well, then. I had an opinion.

“I’m not standing here for any weird reason,” Cavers announced, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I looked at him, surprised. Though supposedly working for Bronski, he hadn’t done a whole lot to work against us that I could see. He followed orders and he cooked. If he was reporting to Bronski on the downlow, Raize never shared that with me, and I had a feeling Raize would know.

I frowned. “Why are you telling me that?”

He shrugged. He was such a big man, but he’d never looked big and uncomfortable until today.

“You waiting to talk to Raize?”

His gaze moved past me to the end of the hallway. “I don’t know how long he’ll be back there.”

That was a fact. We’d just gotten back, and we hadn’t accomplished what Raize had been sent to do. He could be in there all night, and all day tomorrow. Who knew?

I made a decision. “I’ll tell him you want to talk to him.”

His mouth quirked up before flattening.

“What?” I asked.

He shook his head, looking away. “Nothing.”

“I saw that. You think I’m funny or something?”

“Just, you got a little spunk to you now. You didn’t have that before.”

Say what?

But I knew what he was talking about, and my stomach flipped over. It wasn’t good to have anything in this life. Whatever you had, you could lose. Still, I kinda liked hearing that.

“I’ll go tell him.”

I was halfway down the hall when I heard him say quietly, “Thank you.”

I glanced back and saw something shining in his eyes.

That moved me, but I didn’t know what it was.

I knocked at Raize’s office door and said, “It’s Ash.”

Ash. Not me. A different girl’s name that I took.

Sometimes I hated names. Sometimes I loved them, but I always wondered, what was their point?

The door swung open. Raize’s hair was messed up more than usual, his face stark and haggard, but also striking. He’d changed into a gray Henley over jeans. “What?”

I searched his face and jerked a thumb over my shoulder. His gaze followed. “He’s waiting to talk to you.”

Raize nodded to Cavers. “Come on back.”

I stepped away as Cavers lumbered past me. He glanced at me. “Thank you.”

Emotion filled my chest. I dipped my chin down, stiffly, and moved past him. This was all getting so odd.

I was on my way to my room when I heard a creak on the stairs.

Jake had come down, Gus in tow, his tail swishing. He came over to bump my hand and fit his head underneath it.

Jake’s eyes moved to Raize’s office. “You do that for him, but I feel like you want nothing to do with me.”

Oh man.

I knelt, petting Gus down his back.

He wiggled, his tail thumping the floor in a steady staccato.

I didn’t reply to Jake. Didn’t know what to say.

“Did I change that or did he?” Jake asked.

He. Raize.

I didn’t look up, focusing instead on how cute Gus’ nose was twitching.

“Right.” He sighed.

I’d answered by not answering.

Finally I looked up. “Don’t dwell on anything. Okay?” And then I lied. “Nothing’s changed.”

He knew I was lying. I knew I was lying. I knew he knew I was lying.

But I lied anyway, and then we heard it.

Bang!

30

Ash

We took off running, Jake crashed through the office door.

Raize and Cavers were both on their feet, looking stunned at a gun on the floor.

“What the hell?” Jake demanded.

They looked over.

Cavers was pale, and his hand came up in a helpless gesture. “I… Oh, shit.” His eyes moved to Raize. “Boss, I’m so sorry. The gun fell and I—what a fucking rookie mistake.” He slumped into the chair behind him. His hands caught his head, and he bent over. “Oh, fuck. Fuck. I’m going to die.”

Raize’s gaze was stormy, and he watched Cavers like a hawk. His hands were fists, pressing into the top of his desk. Then his eyes closed, and he breathed in, his shoulders rolling back as if he’d come to a decision. He looked over at Jake and me. “We’re fine.”

Cavers muttered to himself, shaking his head and rocking back and forth in the chair.

“He dropped his gun, and it went off,” Raize said calmly.

I stiffened.

So did Jake, and then he launched himself at Cavers. He shoved him down to the floor. “What the fuck?! Are you insane?!”

Cavers didn’t fight back. He just went to the ground and let Jake hit him.

“He’s our fucking chance to live, you asshole! What are you doing, pulling that sort of shit?!”

He hit him a few more times.

I didn’t know what I was the most shocked about—that Cavers looked genuinely remorseful, that Jake was going crazy like this, or that Raize hadn’t killed him by now.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and I looked over at Raize. He was watching me, again, and that storm was there in his eyes. He let it show, right out in front. He drew in a breath, his eyes closing, and when he opened them, there was a haunted look there. Agony flashed over his face before he moved.

One step, he grabbed Jake by the shoulders and launched him against the wall.

“What the hell?!” Jake’s eyes bugged.

Fuck. I had a feeling where this was going, and I shut the door, just in case.

“He came clean with me. You? You’ve not done shit.” Raize held Jake against the wall.

I noticed his shirt molded to his arms and back—his very defined arms and back. But Jake’s feet were barely touching the floor. In that moment, everyone realized what Raize was capable of.

A shiver went through me. Alarm. But also awareness.

Desire.

I couldn’t suppress a full-body shiver.

I felt Cavers looking my way, but ignored him.

“What are you talking about?” Jake asked, but his shoulders were already slumped. I was thinking he knew.

“You know.”

Panic flashed in Jake’s gaze before he looked at me.

“She knows, too,” Raize growled.

Jake swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

Raize was not letting him down, making it clear who he trusted and who he didn’t.

I swung surprised eyes to Cavers. He slowly stood up and nodded, as if affirming my unspoken question. He shifted back, putting a few feet between Raize and himself.

Or no… Actually, he was giving Raize room to do what he needed to do.

“No.” The word wrung from me.

I couldn’t. Not Jake.

I couldn’t see someone else I knew die.

Just, no.

Raize ignored me, putting Jake down and stepping back toward me, putting himself between Jake and me. His hands were loose, at his pockets. I could see a gun in the bulge of his shirt.