As they were leaving, Radley said, “Let me just go say hi to that guy over there.” Josh paid the bill, then tried to wind his way through the packed bar to get to the exit. It was deafening in here, and he hated crowds. His anxiety jumped, but he reassured himself that he’d be home soon, on the couch with Pebbles, not a goddamn Christmas ornament in sight.

He waited behind a server, who was squarely blocking his way. Josh went to her left—nope. Right—nope. He tried to make eye contact with the people at her table, but they stared at her like she was the living Buddha as she answered their questions.

It was taking a long time. He tried to move past again, but the server apparently had no peripheral vision, because she, too, seemed oblivious to his presence. She was detailing the Eddy’s elaborate drinks. “Um, that one has, uh . . . um . . . butter-washed Wild Turkey, maple, Pierre . . . something, and some . . . chocolate shavings? No, bitters! Chocolate bitters. It sounds gross, but, um, I’ve heard it’s really good.”

The maître d’ glared at her. It wasn’t a great sell, to be fair. Josh tried once more to get around, but nope, she was completely blind in her left eye, apparently, and the people at her table still would not make eye contact with him. He sighed and stared at the server’s long dark hair, which was pulled into a braid. Cut that off, and he’d have a good strong rope.

“Okay,” said the waitress, “so you do want the cinnamon in it, but not burnt? Um, I’ll ask. Sure! Okay. But Chopin, and not Grey Goose. Got it. And Chopin is gin? No, no, of course. It’s vodka. Got it. And you want lemon in that? Juice or a twist? Got it.”

He doubted she did. The patrons were being ridiculously particular, especially given that the restaurant was jammed.

Finally, she turned and almost bumped right into him. “Sorry, was I in your way? Oh, hey! It’s you! Hi! How are you?”

It was the woman from the fun run, the one with the ancient dog in a baby stroller, who’d helped him when he passed out. “Hi,” he said. “Right. The race.”

“Yeah. You fainted! How are you now? I mean, obviously, you lived. But you were okay?”

“Yes. A little dehydrated, that was it.”

“Good. I’m glad.” She stood there a minute, smiling at him.

“You gonna put that drink order in sometime? Like, ever?” said one of the patrons at the table. Christmas tended to bring out the worst in people, Josh observed.

“Yes! Sorry! I will. Right now.” She smiled again at Josh.

“How’s Duffy?” he asked, a little shocked that he remembered the dog’s name, then internally winced. The dog had to be dead by now.

“He’s great! Thank you for asking! The vet gave him these supplements and some steroids. He’s like a new dog. Seriously. It’s like he’s thirteen again.”

How old was that dog? “Good. Oh, and your brother?” He’d had that condition where his joints popped out. Ehlers-Danlos, that was it.

“Oh, my gosh, you’re so sweet to remember. He’s good! Thank you.”

“Well. Happy holidays.”

“You too! Happy New Year!”

“Were you talking to a woman?” Radley asked when they were finally out on the sidewalk.

“Yes. We go to the same vet.”

“Well, good for you, Joshua,” Radley said. “Hey, it’s snowing! Beautiful, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

Lauren had loved the snow. She used to stare out the windows in the darkened apartment and watch, sipping cocoa.

Her memory was everywhere.

“I’ll see you on Christmas Eve, okay?” he said. “I’ll text you my mom’s address.”

“Thanks, brother,” Radley said. He held up his wrist. “I’m never taking this off.”

* * *

ON CHRISTMAS EVE, Radley arrived at Stephanie’s promptly at five thirty, wearing an appropriately dapper suit for someone who worked in a men’s clothing store. His arms were loaded with packages.

“It’s so nice to meet you!” Stephanie cried, taking off her apron. She was wearing her Free Mom Hugs T-shirt with a rainbow heart, in case anyone missed the fact that she was very accepting, and hugged Radley tight. “I’m so glad you’re here! Thank you for being my son’s friend! I know he’s a burden.” She sent Josh a smug look that clearly said, I delight in embarrassing you in front of your friends.

“Wow, Mom,” Josh said, but he smiled. It was all so normal.

“I’ve been dying to meet you, Ms. Park. Josh says you’re the world’s greatest mom. Is this true?”

“It is! Oh, Josh, thank you, honey. Also, Radley, you have to call me Steph. Or Mom, if you like, honey. Joshua says your family lives far away? So sad at Christmastime.”

“Well, unlike yourself, they’re homophobic assholes, so not that sad.” His eyes met Josh’s, and Josh gave him a chin jerk, acknowledging that he understood the white lie. It was sad. “But Joshua has officially adopted me as his brother, so I guess you totally are my mom.”

“How about another hug, then!” Stephanie said, and Radley got a second, longer hug. When they broke apart, Radley had tears in his eyes. Josh gave him a manly lean-in hug and introduced him around to those who had not yet met his buddy.

It was quite a crowd—the Kims, who’d have their own kids over tomorrow; Jen, Darius, Sebastian and Octavia; Donna and her now-steady boyfriend Bill; and Sarah with some guy she’d dug up (he could already tell it wouldn’t last); as well as three people from his mother’s lab who didn’t have family in the area.

Bill, whom Joshua had never met, was holding Octavia, and while he seemed like a perfectly nice guy, it gave Josh a pang. The familiarity, the contagious sadness that it was not Lauren’s father who was here, that Donna’s boyfriend would never know her daughter.